Chasing the Devil

We had just had a “glorious” church service.

I had been engaged in what I had considered “spiritual warfare” all week, but I arrived at that service expecting God to move and I felt I had been blessed abundantly as we worshipped the Lord.

As we drove home, I was rejoicing in all that God had done, and resolute to expose the devil and thwart all of his devices. At that point in my experience, I had begun to believe that was what salvation was all about. It was all about being a valiant, triumphant warrior against all sickness and demons. That as Christians, we had all power against the unsavory aspects of this world and that the resolution to anything unpleasant was simply “enforcing” the authority bestowed upon us in this spiritual realm of demons.

I was telling Mark about how the devil had been attacking me, and explaining my “strategy” for defeating him. I cringe when I think of it now. The devil was trying to do “this”, so I was trying to do “that”.

Mark was quiet. He didn’t offer much in response… and then, in his humble, gentle way, he offered a hesitant admonition.

“You shouldn’t glorify the devil. Just give him the boot and move on.”

I was taken aback. Of course, all I heard was “glorify the devil” and I was more than a little bit offended. After all, I thought I was moderately spiritual. I spent a great deal of time combatting the devil and his entourage!

𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥? 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦?

I was caught in a conundrum. My sensibilities were at war with each other. A determination to remain victorious in the Lord, and a cognizance of pride welling up within me… and tempted…. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳-𝘴𝘰-𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 ‘𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘱.

The conversation continued with measured words and careful tones… each of us exerting our most valiant attempt to keep our pride in check… Then Mark said something that hit my big red button. I don’t even remember what it was, but that was the end of it. All of my submissive restraint flew out the window.

“Is that what you think I am doing? Glorifying the devil?? Wow Mark… Just…Wow. Do you really think so little of me?”

I rattled on, setting all of my “victory” to the side while I let my pride spew like a turbulent volcano.

And my precious husband… bless his gentle soul. He attempted, so courageously, to appeal to whatever fragments of sanity I might have retained, but for the next couple of hours I was nursing my wounds, lost in a haze of offense. As emotions settled between us and clarity was restored, we said our apologies and went to bed.

But for the next several days, recognizing my pride, I quietly humbled myself to consider what he had to say. Was the devil getting too much attention? Had I inadvertently “glorified the devil”? I hadn’t thought so, but correction, under the umbrella of authority that God has ordained for me, was worth praying about, so I did.

I did realize that a great deal of my experience in the Lord was indeed, “chasing the devil off.”

“But Lord… isn’t that what we are supposed to do? I mean… spiritual warfare, right? Didn’t Paul say that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12) Didn’t Jesus command us to cast out devils? (Mark 16:17) Didn’t He give us “all power over the enemy”? (Luke 10:19) Doesn’t it help to shine a light on what the devil is doing so he can’t succeed at it?” (Ephesians 5:13)

I put all of this before the Lord and almost before I had even had a chance to finish, it was as though a curtain was peeled back where I could see the disparity between He and myself… Suddenly, the Lord illuminated to me His Holiness and His righteousness and His love and His mercy and His compassion and His longsuffering, and in His presence I felt a horror for all that I was…

How had I not seen this before?

In that moment, I realized that I had spent the last two years 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭.

Hollering at him. Exposing his “plots”. Rebuking his attacks. Casting him out of situations. Barking at his minions. The basic logic of charismatic (Word of Faith, New Apostolic Reformation, Dominionism) doctrine is that everything “bad” is because of devils and we’re supposed to be the ones to “chase him off.”

But all that resulted in was a constant fixation on devils. A constant focus on how they are attacking us, and the snares they are laying for us, and the damage they are causing us, and the gates they are using to access us, and the ways they are influencing us.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭…

I began to understand the folly of this and the danger of these practices.

The blind spot of charismatic doctrine and the ever-exploding “faith movement”.

I felt a deep sorrow envelope me.

I had been so focused and fixated on the devil and “putting him in his place” 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 L𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳. Failed to see 𝘏𝘪𝘮… Failed to understand 𝘏𝘪𝘮… Failed to throw myself and all of my weaknesses upon Him.

It was in Him.

After that prayer, and that time of deep repentance, I felt something I had not felt in a long time.

𝘗𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦…

I paused there, stunned, as it billowed in.

His blessed peace…

Peace…

This path had not been a path of peace. It was rife with striving. It was mentally and spiritually exhausting. “Mind battles” (cognitive dissonance) were embraced as a type of “validation” for being “on target” instead of being recognized as an alarm bell that something was terribly off. The mental gymnastics of trying to reconcile common sense and the things that trouble you (carnal mind) with an obligation to “stand in faith” (fideism/anti-rationalism) was draining. The chaos of blurred lines, questionable methods, misplaced focus… None of it supported peace.

In fact, it was decidedly one of the most peace-deprived chapters of my life.

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦…

Where was that at? Where had it been? Why was it so elusive?

I realized how much I had forgotten, and how much I had missed, and I repented.

Suddenly, I felt such an agonizing need to know Him.

To truly know Him.

In the following weeks, I immersed myself in every shred of text I could find about Him.

As I devoured all I could about His attributes and His character and His nature, I found that the more I knew of Him, the more I was drawn to Him. Moment by moment, I was pulled into His presence. I found Him irresistible. The more time I spent at His feet, the more I acknowledged the feebleness of all my efforts. I learned to rest in Him. He was unchangeable, and a solid place I could stand. I could trust Him, because He was all-knowing. I could walk in simple, uncomplicated faith, because I knew He was all-powerful. I could submit to Him, because He created the world and everything in it. I could trust Him, because He’s sovereign and reigns over all of my affairs. I could rest…

He was a place of peace.

He is all I want, so 𝘐’𝘮 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘏𝘪𝘮.

Pursuing Him with all my might.

My battles are won by trusting Him.

My battles are won as I focus upon Him.

My battles are won as I rest in Him.

You know, I’ve nearly forgotten about the devil.

I haven’t had to say a word to him…

He’s not even around.