Silence: When Gossip is Redefined to Keep You Quiet

Radio silence. 

That’s what it’s been like for decades when it comes to Free Gospel Bible Institute. 

The fact that so many have endured horrifying experiences there is no surprise to any of us, but we’re still hush-hush about it. 

From time to time, you’ll hear a story. 

A traumatized individual reeling—desperately trying to process what they’ve been through. Desperately seeking help, guidance, support—anything to help them make sense of something that’s been catastrophic to them on so many levels. 

But before they can even get it out, they are silenced. 

You can’t talk about it. 

It’s not allowed. 

Not to a friend. Not to a parent. Not to a mentor. Not to a pastor. 

Not for counsel. Not for support. 

Silence. 

A clear, strong, obvious pattern of spiritual abuse—serial slaughter of the Holiness Movement’s young people—but we can’t talk about it. 

Silence. An open-secret. 

Have you ever asked why? 

Why can’t we talk about it?

There is something that everyone is afraid of. 

It’s this little thing called “influence.”

In the Holiness Movement, a lot of things hinge on influence. 

All it takes is one person with influence to decide they don’t like something about you and everything you’ve ever known and loved can be lost just like that. 

Your church. 

Your friends. 

Your network.

Your family. 

Your ministry. 

If you’re a preacher, and your livelihood depends on the financial support of the Holiness people, you have to be extra careful. 

Influence is what’s opening and closing doors.

It’s the difference between whether your bills are paid and your family is fed. 

I never thought much about influence until shortly after my husband and I were married.

I was called into the president’s office.

I knew something was off the second I stepped inside. 

He told me to take a seat, and when he started speaking, everything felt scripted. 

I knew this man very well. I’d sat under him since I was 16 and served him closely for 7 years at this point—so I was very familiar with his tones and mannerisms. 

This particular meeting was strange from the very beginning. 

He started by reading a scripture about anger, which was odd, because I had shown no signs of anger. I had no history of anger. I had no idea where he was going with this. 

Everything he said sounded rehearsed and even though I was listening intently, giving him my full attention, staying very even—it truly seemed like he was working extremely hard to get me to react angrily. 

I purposed within myself to stay calm, to answer respectfully, but I couldn’t help wondering, “Is he recording this?” 

As my mind scrambled through scenarios, attempting to make sense of this bizarre meeting, it became very clear that he was intentionally attempting to provoke an incriminating response—and I couldn’t fathom why.

But then he said it. 

With an accusatory arrogance he snapped:

“I’m sure any pastors that might be interested in Mark and Becky Pruett will be eager to know how you respond to me right now.”

That was it. 

He was crafting a narrative. 

One where he had power and I was at his mercies. 

He was letting me know he had influence and he could singlehandedly determine whether we failed or succeeded in Holiness ministry once we left this school. 

I sat still for a moment, taking in what he said. 

I realized he could and he absolutely would.  

Thomas Peretic’s benchmark of ‘ministry material’ was not a biblically grounded one. It was 100% a self-serving one, and if you upset him for any reason, all he had to do was make a few phone calls and plant a few seeds. 

While I wasn’t especially caught up in who’s who and what they think, I was married now.

My husband was a preacher. 

My own pastor, who I had served faithfully and loyally and diligently for 7 years—was  threatening to end my husband’s ministry before he even turned his tassel—to intentionally sabotage us.

There was no disqualifying ministerial reason to do it. It was purely a matter of whether he was happy with us or not. If we didn’t toe the line to the finest degree of his expectations, whether they were reasonable or not, he’d make sure we left under a cloud of reproach.

He’d initiate a quiet blacklisting countrywide. 

I realize now, looking back on that day, that this is why people are silent about Free Gospel Bible Institute.

There are people who hold the strings and we know it.

I can’t talk about what I went through there because the repercussions will be too severe. 

Can I tell you something? 

Men like this can only hold the strings if you let them. 

Silence is how you hand them the strings. 

I listened to Thomas Peretic’s “Taming the Tongue” series a couple weeks ago—something I understand he’s now preached many times over.

He recorded it my freshman year and what he packaged up for the “whole country” was heavily edited, but I realized that as a sixteen-year-old, impressionable girl, I truly did not stand a chance against the manipulations in these sermons. Like so many unsuspecting young people, I swallowed them hook, line, and sinker—internalized them, and carried them with me for decades. 

But if you listen carefully, you’ll notice a few things. 

Even though he provides factual dictionary definitions of terms like “gossip” and “backbiter” and so on, the examples he gives throughout the series broaden the definition to include anything and everything that could reflect poorly on him. 

By the time he’s done, there’s not a single communication that can put him in a bad light that’s acceptable on any level. 

If you talk to your parents, you’re a gossip. 

If you talk to your pastor, you’re a gossip. 

If you turn to a higher authority, you’re a gossip.

If you confide in a friend, you’re a gossip. 

If you compare notes, you’re a gossip. 

If you seek advice, or counsel, you’re a gossip. 

NONE of those things are truly gossip. 

In fact, these are very healthy sources of feedback and perfectly biblical communications in most cases—but if you were sitting through these sermons and just took his word for it, and you heard his scathing portrayal of what of what God will do to a gossip—

Well, then no wonder you’re silent. 

God would shut you out of Heaven if you dared to tell your mom:

“Hey mom, there are some really troubling things going on here and I’m not sure what to do.” 

God might strike you dead if the sermon seemed off and you dared to run it past a close friend—

“Hey—I thought the way he used that verse was off. Did I hear him correctly?” 

And if you seek help from someone you trust… God forbid. 

You don’t have victory. 

You’re bitter. 

You’re the problem. 

Men who demand utter silence—who vilify accountability by manipulating the Bible, handed us a warped framework, and it’s kept us silent. 

He’s trained us to keep each other silent. 

And the silence kept us isolated. 

Do you realize what happens when you start comparing notes? 

Suddenly that confusing, troubling, traumatizing experience that made you wonder a thousand times if it was you—if you were crazy—is part of a bigger picture. 

A pattern. 

A BIG pattern.

It’s noteworthy that the same principles he taught us don’t apply equally to him. Ironically, he seethes with gossip in his own sermons against gossip.

And he’s free to call pastors, plant seeds, shape narratives.

If you listen to this series, you realize by the end, that there is no acceptable form of accountability in his eyes. 

Your parents can’t correct him, because if they know anything, it’s because you gossiped.  Your pastors can’t correct him, because if they try, they’re meddling. He makes it very clear to them that they need to stay in their lane. Faculty, students, and laypeople can’t correct him because they’re all below him. 

So who corrects the president of FGBI? 

The Board of Directors? 

I recall Thomas Peretic in my office one day—he informed me of something serious that had come up related to the school. My immediate thought was, “Oh wow—what is the board going to say about this?” When I asked him that very question, he smirked—amused by the question. He wasn’t worried about it. His words were, “Look, the board will believe whatever I want them to believe.” 

He’s the Chairman. He determines the narratives. He has the final word. Some of the most influential men in the Holiness Movement sit on the board. 

If you go to the board, you seal your fate in the Holiness Movement. 

Would you go to the board with so much at stake? 

When the power is so dramatically imbalanced?

How many good faculty members, and good students have slipped away, quietly suffering—because they knew trying to do anything would only make things worse? 

During my husband’s senior year, he decided that after graduation, we would leave FGBI. We prayerfully considered where we would go to church when the time came. Mark was good friends with a board member’s son, and we both had utmost respect for his father, so it was decided that we would attend his church.

Thomas Peretic knew this was where we were going, so he preempted our exit by sowing a little seed of distrust. He told me about how “God showed” this board member out of the three faculty members who were planning to leave, which ones needed to stay and which ones needed to go. One faculty member needed finances, and they would stay—he named them. One faculty member was leaving and that was God’s will—he named them.

Then he said, “Brother —- said the final faculty member has a Jezebel spirit.” 

He didn’t name me, but by process of elimination, I was the only faculty member left.

I never fully believed this was true—but it was just enough to create a smidge of doubt about my new pastor. 

I believe this was a calculated effort on Thomas Peretic’s part, to sow distrust—to make sure we kept our mouths shut. 

And we did. We attended this board member’s church for 4 years total, and never once opened our mouths to him because we wanted to be so very clear that that was not why we were there. 

We simply needed a church—a refuge. 

Thankfully that is what they were for us in many ways. That church was so very good to us. We got a deep breath of fresh air there. I got my first taste of what it felt like to not be controlled. Until then, I had no concept whatsoever, of what that was like. I was so grateful for that pastor’s gentleness and evenness.

I learned the attributes of God from him. 

I realized at that church, through those sermons, that the God that Thomas Peretic preached wasn’t the God that was revealed in Scripture at all. I remember being so utterly shocked and dumbfounded by the stark difference. That alone helped me untangle so much.

But I was reeling inside.

Suffering. 

I was terrified of pastors.

I was battling severe spiritual PTSD. 

I was falling apart inside.

I was confused and disoriented and I was trying so desperately to process what happened at FGBI—I needed to talk to someone I could trust—to sort it all out. 

To make sense of it. 

But I couldn’t. 

I didn’t dare. 

Too much at stake.

Silence. 

This is my humble plea to the alumni—to the former students and former faculty and former staff. Even to the board members. To the Holiness Movement.

Let people talk about it. Let them process it.

There is a power imbalance. 

There’s an authority structure that is untouchable. 

There are young people—your young people—heading into this school with NO RECOURSE when the authority is going sideways. 

If they follow his protocol—the one he touts as Biblical but is deeply skewed—they’ll go to him one on one and he will confuse, disarm, and manipulate them. He will convince them that they are the problem. They’ll internalize this. They won’t talk to each other because that’s not acceptable. They won’t tell you because that’s not acceptable. They won’t tell their pastors because that’s not acceptable. They won’t go to the board because that’s not acceptable. 

They don’t stand a chance!

To be heard—to be taken seriously when something is legitimately concerning has become utterly impossible. 

In fear of repercussions, your young people will self-isolate. 

They will believe the narrative he gives them.

They will walk out of there with so much trauma and have nowhere to turn for help and many of them will spiral. Can we not see that this is what’s happening?

This is where we are at. 

For the sake of your young people, please—please set aside the silence. 

The disturbing reality is that “Taming the Tongue” eventually culminates in an eerie truth. 

One that you need to pay attention to, and one that you need to decide if you’re ok with. 

What person can hold the “man of God” accountable, according to Thomas Peretic?

None. 

Just God. 

Seriously. 

Go listen to it. It’s there.

Keep your mouth shut. You’re out of line. He’s untouchable. If the slightest inkling that he’s wrong flashes across your mind you’ll be branded a Korah or a Haman.

If God wants to deal with me, He’ll do it without ANY of you. 

Is that Biblically acceptable? 

The obvious answer is, no. 

Accountability for pastors and leaders is prescribed. No pastor or leader is above flesh and blood accountability. Leaders, in fact, are to be held to a HIGHER standard of accountability than laypeople. (1 Timothy 5:19–20; James 3:1)

The Bible is clear that gossip is a sin. But we need to understand it accurately. 

Gossip is spreading harmful information with sinful intent. It is idle, destructive talk—often rooted in malice or pride. Gossip involves stirring up strife, not pursuing truth or healing.

Calling something “gossip” when it isn’t is spiritual manipulation. 

Here’s what gossip is not:

1. Telling the truth about sin

When someone is in unrepentant sin—especially a leader—it is not gossip to expose it.

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” – Ephesians 5:11
“Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.” – 1 Timothy 5:20

Paul didn’t say, “Protect the ministry’s reputation.” He said rebuke them publicly. Why? Because the church is called to purity and accountability—not enabling.

2. Seeking counsel

Processing spiritual abuse or confusing experiences with wise, godly people is not gossip.

“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” – Proverbs 15:22
“In an abundance of counselors there is safety.” – Proverbs 11:14

When you’ve been spiritually gaslit or manipulated, you need sound counsel. Silencing someone under the guise of “gossip” keeps them in confusion and isolation.

3. Warning others about wolves

If someone has demonstrated a pattern of deception or abuse, you are not sinning by sounding the alarm. You are loving your neighbor.

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” – Matthew 7:15
“Mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine… and avoid them.” – Romans 16:17

Wolves thrive on silence.

They rely on fear and the misuse of Scripture to keep victims quiet.

Why This Matters

When “gossip” is misused to silence victims, it protects sin and punishes righteousness. It flips the moral order on its head. Those who call out deception are treated like dividers, while those who abuse power are “covered” in the name of unity.

If you’ve been silenced, shamed, or made to feel like seeking help was sinful, please know:

It wasn’t godly correction. It was control.

There are people that love you, that care about you and want to help you process these experiences. If you get in touch with me, I can connect you with a pastor or a counselor who will listen to your story and help you sort it out.

We are doing our best to make it right.

If you’re a former student or faculty member of this school, and you want to help, please feel free to reach out.

“Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.” – Proverbs 31:8

If you’re a former student or faculty member of Free Gospel Bible Institute and need a safe place to process what you’ve experienced, I’d like to invite you to talk with myself or a trusted team member equipped to walk with you—whether you’re looking for pastoral counsel, help untangling what you experienced, or simply someone who understands, we’re here to help.

You’re not alone.

To share your experience or get connected, visit:
👉 BereanHoliness.com/fgbi
To reach me directly, feel free to use the form below: